Excerpts from Mark Burnett's The Bible (Satire)

Survivor and Celebrity Apprentice producer Mark Burnett and wife and Touched by an Angel star Roma Downey recently produced a miniseries for the History Channel on The Bible.  Going from Celebrity Apprentice to The Bible is strange although incredibly American.

Thinking of how his Survivor background might influence his artistic vision, I imagined the following scene:

SURVIVOR: EDEN

(Music plays as the scene comes into focus.)

God:  Adam, Eve, you both failed the recent immunity challenge, so you are both vulnerable at tonight's Tribal Council.  Before you both cast your votes, I want you to think about your experiences so far in the Garden and on how you betrayed each other....and me.

(Adam leaves to cast his vote and returns promptly.  Eve then does the same.)

God: Who will be voted off the Garden?  Our first vote (unfurls the parchment) is for ADAM.  (Adam's stare hardens while listening).

So we have one vote for Adam.  Our second vote (unfurls the parchment) is for EVE.  (Eve sheds a slight tear in her left eye.)

Well, since you are the only two people in existence, there is no one to break the tie. As I created both of you, I hold the right to break a tie.  Let me reflect for a moment.  (Pause) You have both been voted off the Garden.

(Masaccio's The Expulsion from the Garden of Eden before resotration via Wikipedia, s)