Saturday, January 12, 2013

Children's Garden of Conservative History Verses

 So, in addition to his crusade against the leftist agenda of algebra (the distributive property!), Fox News host Eric Bolling also lambasted his child's history book for daring to say that Bush got us into war with Iraq because of WMDs, which happened not to be there.  What left-wing bias!  I've decided to do Bolling a favor and offer a more patriotic rendering of the history of the Iraq War for the kiddies:

Once upon a time, there was a great patriotic president named George W. Bush. One day, George W. Bush noticed that the Iraqi people looked sad. "Why are you so sad, Iraqi people?" the president asked. "We're sad because we are not free," they responded. That patriotic, freedom-loving president couldn't imagine how awful it would be to live in a country where the people were not free as they are in the United States, the greatest nation on Earth. So our president began to think about what he could do to help make the Iraqi people free. So he asked his good freedom-loving friend Tony Blair to help him set the Iraqi people free, and he even got some other friends to help out, too--except for the French, who have yet to truly understand the meaning of freedom. So our coalition of the free went into Iraq with the help of patriotic American capitalists, such as those from the great Halliburton, to set the Iraqi people free and to take down the mean leader that had kept them unfree. Unfortunately, once this coalition arrived, they reailzed that the Iraqi people--who had expressed their desire for freedom--weren't yet fully able to understand freedom. But, don't worry, child, the patriotic American capitalists were able to teach them about freedom, and they are still helping to teach them today.

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